Sep 23 2011


Clickin’ and Grinnin’

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REGRESSED

That’s what mom said I have gone and done. She says I have developed amnesia, forgot my camping manners, and regressed into a state of teenage-hood.

Well, I am not from the hood and I think my camping manners are just fine. Besides, I’m three and a half years old. Teenager? Pfft!

Here are my camping manners that I have been strictly abiding to since we got to Indianers last month:

1.  Bark at alllll strangers in my circle. My circle extends approximately 500′ in every direction from me!

2.  Bark at allll moving objects in my circle, except for cars, motorhomes, and campers, cause they are bigger than me.

3.  Bark at allll non-moving objects in my circle that were not in my circle 30 seconds ago, regardless of size.

4. Bark at allll dawgs in my circle.

5.  Bark at alll birds in my circle.

6.  Bark at alll cats in my circle, except for my own.

7.  The level and intensity of barking and growling increases with regards to the size of other dawgs in my circle. The bigger they are, the badder I hafta be!

8.  Bark and growl at the owners and managers of the campground, because they won’t let me run loose in the campground.

9.  Raise my hackles, growl, and bark like a mad dawg every time  I step out of the dawghouse, to scare off said dawgs, strangers, cats, dawgs, birds, spiders, and imaginary objects that MIGHT be outside the dawghouse or might be contemplating entering my circle anytime in the next year or so.

10. Bark before I poop to announce to the world to back off cause it’s gonna be momentous.

11. Grumble at loud noises….screaming kids, lawn mowers, diesel engines, car doors slamming, people laughing, doesn’t matter. Gotta show them that I am bigger, badder and louder.

12. Bark at any other thing as I feel the need.

13. Sniff the butt of every stranger I encounter in the pet stores. Because, well, they smell like arse!

Mom does not like my camping manners. What’s up with that?? She says my anxiety is gonna get us kicked out of a campground one of these days. I say that I’m just doing my job, which is to guard me, myself, and I, and mom, and pop, and the dawghouse. And to let mom know when something is scaring me   threatening her.

So, now she is clickin’ and I am grinnin’. You see, she read this book about how to HELP (HA) me gain some control over myself and my “anxiety”. So now, mom clicks this silly clicker thingy when she sees me do something right, say when I look at whatever is scaring me  threatening her, and I grin because I get beef jerky.

Little does mom know, but I’ve got this behavior modification thing down! You see, I just pretend to be good, then I get JERKY! I’m still on guard! Mom is such a sucker!!!!

4 responses so far




4 Responses to “Clickin’ and Grinnin’”

  1.   Pat Gravetton 26 Sep 2011 at 1:47 pm     1

    You have your Mom well trained, Riley. Just keep pushing her buttons. Before you know it you’ll have her behavior midified to suit you!!!

  2.   Stephanie Mullenon 27 Sep 2011 at 11:46 am     2

    Hi Riley-
    My human helped me with this.
    I think you are really cool.
    I am 4 and I am a malshi.
    I thinking your camping manners are fine, they are just like the rules around my house. I don’t like anyone who comes near my house, or my road, or my yard. Mom says thats not my yard, pfffttt. I don’t like other dogs (except my little brother), or cats, or squirells, and the deer run when I chase them (chickens).
    Go Riley You Rock.
    Rocky

  3.   Reneon 29 Sep 2011 at 11:01 pm     3

    Oh Riely, are you sure you didn’t trade places with Wyatt?

  4.   Riley Pupon 03 Oct 2011 at 3:28 pm     4

    Yo Rocky! Great to hear from you, dawg! Did your human help you or did you help your human? Cause I could use s’more advice on how to train mom to give me more more more jerky!

    Rene….mom said I might learn something from Wyatt Ray…..he he he he he….

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