Sep 04 2011

Yoga Schmoga

Filed under It's a Dawg's Life

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Dawgs! I was so excited Friday morning. Mom was up and about before the crack of dawn. I thought I was going to score an early morning walk-about to read my pee mail early while it was still fresh news. Then she snapped on the tube and this funny woman appeared on the screen. She was dressed in a leopard. Mom told me to move cause she was gonna exorcise herself. WHAT? I’m the one who is posed to get exorcisms in this dawghouse.

Then mom proceeds to do this crazy thing called Yoga. I figured that if I was gonna get exorcised, I’d better join in. And so did the Booger.

This is me doing the corpse pose as the woman on the tube commanded us to relax.

And here, Booger is doing the sideways fat cat as the woman barked at us to loosen up.

This is my best attempt at downward dawg.

Here’s The Booger in the Nose Picker Pose.

(Okay, so that wasn’t during the Yoga Exorcism. But I think it is funny.)

And finally, The Booger doing a Cat-syasana.

I think I want to go back to frisbee catchin’ and penguin pounding for my exorcisms. This yoga stuff is just twisted!

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Aug 30 2011

Getting the 2nd Degree

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Burn, that is. CLUTZ. My middle name. Throw in dumbass for emphasis, if you please.  I am notorious for hurting myself. James doesn’t let me play with sharp objects for this very reason, but believe-u-me, I can still find a way to injure myself.

I had a hankering for some yummy 13 bean soup yesterday, after scoring a B-U-T-ful bag of soup mix at a heavenly little local bakery and bulk foods market here in Remington. So I went all culinary, mixed it up, and threw it in the crockpot (okay, so I only picked out a FEW lima beans. I’d rather eat chalk!) to cook all afternoon. I left the crock pot crocking on the counter, sitting on a couple of oven mitts because the legs are missing from our aged pot. The last time we used it on our shiny, new corian countertops, it friggin melted the corian. So come time for James to get home from work,and  guess what? My beans were still not done. Crap.

Out came the ingredients for a quick dinner of nachos. And since I had been nervous about leaving that hot crock pot on those cloth oven mitts, I decided to move the crock pot onto the wire rack of our stove top. (You too can prevent camper fires!) Me and my puny muscles hefted that crock pot up and over to the stove. Well, sort of. Half way there, hot water from the aluminum foil I have to use to seal the AGED crock pot lid dribbled onto my hand. And class, what happens when hot water hits the skin of a person with a healthy, intact neurological system? REFLEX. That’s right. My hand jerked in an effort to get away from that hot water. And when that hand jerked, guess what? The crock pot vomited BOILING HOT 13 bean soup all over the phalanges of both of my hands. And what did I do? I threw that puking, hot crock pot full of beans onto the stove. And sobbed like a baby over my scalded phalanges as I ran cold water over them for a little sweet relief from that horrible burning sensation that would have made me spew more cuss words than a sailor had I been able to utter a word between sobs and gasps for breath.

I sobbed and snotted over the sink for what seemed like an eternity. The pain lessened enough for me to find out what the first aid was for such a severe burn, as I could see my skin blistering as I sobbed. I managed to hold my trusty phone and peck in ‘first aid burns’ to see if I needed to go to the emergency room and meet that shiny new $3500 deductible. I managed to find out that cold water, antibiotic ointment, and pain relievers were really all that could be done for my newly identified 2nd degree burns on my fingers. Just as I finished reading, the severe pain came back with a vengeance. And continued for 8 FRIGGIN HOURS.

James came home to a sobbing, snotty wife. The only relief I could get was when my hands were under that stream of cold water and then slathered over and over with pain-relieving triple antibiotic ointment.

He finally felt so bad for me crying between soakings that he almost force-fed me a hydrocodone from my un-touched bottle that was my prize for enduring a root canal in February. (Root canal 5 on the pain scale. Burned phalanges – 9.5). And you know what? The hydrocodone made me drunker than a stoned skunk, and took the edge off, but it did not stop that kind of pain. Almost three hours later, and still stumbling back and forth to the sink to douse my finger-fire, James gives me another hydrocodone. So then, I was drunker than a stoned and inebriated skunk on a merry-g0-round. My phalanges still hurt, but I was more willing to consider self-amputation at that point. Seriously. I think cutting my fingers off would have hurt less. So I continued my trips back and forth to the sink until almost midnight, when I knew I either had to fall asleep, or I was really was going to start puking my toes out from the narcotics. I finally collapsed in the bed, and managed to pass out everytime my phalanges started flaming again.

Today those crispy critters mock me with their crunchy pants….    I am relieved that the burns aren’t worse than they are, and am hoping the skin doesn’t start peeling off of my crispier right thumb.

Time to eat some soup  . I think I earned it.


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Aug 30 2011

Pimpin’ My Beaches and Doin’ My Dunes

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Dawgs! Mom wasn’t kidding when she said we were going on a long road trip again. We are in this place called Indianers. Mom says it’s corny. I dunno about that, but I like our campground, ‘cept Mom won’t let me chase the gooses or nibble the bunny rabbits. And would somebody please tell me why I just can’t run freeeeeee? This whole leash thing really limits my pee-mail reading!

So this past weekend, Mom and Pop drove us to this place called Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore. And guess what? Not only did I get to romp on the dunes, but I got to pimp my beach at the same time!!! Dude! That place rocked! ‘Cept I couldn’t get in the water, cause mom said it pooted from the nuclear plant that was right next to the National Lakeshore (funny how THAT wasn’t in the brochure!). Check out the waves!

Here I am with Pop, on top of Mt. Baldy, all covered with sand…. It is the tallest dune in the park.

Here’s the view of the beach from the dunes. I was happy not to see any peli-can-eat -dawgs there!   And of course, I had to be a poser, and share exactly how I felt about that instead of zooming in the sand!   After we left the lakeshore, we drove to this place called Chicago.  The routey-woman in Pop’s phone sent us through a really scary part of town on the way to score our pizza, before we went to Pop’s office. Mom was adamant that she saw a drug deal go down. I dunno what that means, exactly, but I do know that pimpin’ my beaches is nothing like the pimpin’ that was going on in that neck of the woods!!!


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Aug 29 2011

We’re going where?????

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“INDIANA? WTH is in Indiana?”

Ha! The universe has a very twisted and corny sense of humor. After a week and a half at home, filled with anxious anticipation of western-living, last-minute errands, long to-do lists, too many rental repairs, truck repairs, and unexpected ER visits and doctor appointments for my sick dad, the call came last Saturday afternoon as we were driving back from picking up MORE parts for Bertha (That’s a different rant). Completely unexpected, as James’ boss usually calls on Thursdays or Fridays with work assignments.

Fowler, Indiana. Home of, well, corn. Lots and lots of corn. And hundreds of wind turbines. I have to admit….not only was the call to work unexpected; so was the job location. But who’s complaining? (No, I’m merely whining a little. There IS a difference.) They are paying us to hang on in these corn fields. The job should not last more than another month. And it is much nicer here than, oh, say Arkansas. I do feel bad for James though, because he was sent here as the newly-promoted site-leader to deal with personnel issues resulting from a power-hungry leader who is now likely hanging out at home, being one with his remote control as he awaits the arrival of that first unemployment check. James has almost figured out how to deal with the guys who were stuck under Mr. Macho, corrected some safety issues, and is hoping for smooth sailing. But he has to work here. Seriously….no more napping, reading, or tossing some Angry Birds on the job. This isn’t a gravy job like Texas has been for the past year. My honey buns is working for a living again…and hard work this assignment is.

So anyway….late last Saturday night, after more last minute Bertha-repairs, errands, and visits with Daddy, we literally threw our things into our dawghouse’s various orifices. After a fitful night of not sleeping as we fretted over what we were forgetting, we hit the road at 7 am Sunday. Nine hours later, we encountered our welcoming committee.

We are staying at the Caboose Lake RV Park in Remington, IN. The park is extremely nice and very well maintained, and the owners are great. My only complaint is that it is located right on the interstate, at an exit with two major truck stops. So not only is the traffic loud from the busy interstate…we get a lot of noise from truckers and jake brakes as well.

I spent last week organizing the camper, dealing with rentals, trying to remember how to live in a camper, and figuring out how to run a business from afar. All while Riley naps , tortures the kitties,

, and soaks up all the love he can.


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Aug 13 2011

The Best Laid Plans

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You would think we would learn not to plan…but being the overly-responsible souls we are, planning, replanning, and worrying seem to be innate character flaws.

I am free of my job and ready to hit the road with my honey buns. But low and behold, work has stopped at the wind farm, thanks to the horrible heat wave that is withering Texas. (Kiss my patootie, climate change and La Nina). So James drug the dawg house home early. While we wait to hear if we will be sent somewhere else until September when work will resume in Texas (assuming the 100+ degree days have ended), we are frantically working on our to-do list.

 And anxiously waiting our next road-trip…so we can both get some rest!

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Jul 17 2011

Almost there!!

Since Riley is napping (lazy dawg), I thought I would take a few minutes to catch you up on what is going on.

Talk about coming full circle! We have been working incredibly hard to get back on the road after an extended hiatus that began in 2002. I can’t believe it has been nine years. Nine long, grueling years of frustration, hard work, business wheeling and dealing, deaths, planning, and generally busting our hineys to fulfill that omnipresent, intense desire to live our lives instead of going through the motions. And you know what? We survived….older, wiser, and more determined than ever to live the life of riley.

So here we are. James is still working as a wind turbine technician. Gravy job has never applied more than it does to the position he lucked into. The pay is superb, the work itself relatively easy (well, if you don’t have a fear of heights, and can climb a 300′ vertical ladder with 30 lbs or so on your back, without panicking or needing to break the climb up into short intervals lasting several hours) , the work secure, and the traveling guaranteed. Because it is considered seasonal, he gets a week off every 6 weeks, plus 2-3 months off in the winter (hello, roadtrips)! Our only problem with it is that he doesn’t have health insurance. One year was our rough goal… year to see how he liked the job, to determine how secure it would be, and to give him a chance to either get a promotion and raise that would cover our health insurance expenses  (if we could get it), or for him to get a year ‘s worth of experience so that he could score a travelling  job with a larger company that offers health insurance, before I quit my job and hit the road with him. The good news is he is now doing team leading, and just got that raise we were waiting on. But let me tell you…..this past year has downright SUCKED!! I have been an empty shell of a person without my soul mate with me every day.

A couple of major changes at my job royally ticked me off and served as the force propelling us into action. We decided to go ahead and see if we could get health insurance before I give my notice.  I was very concerned that at least myself would be turned down for a pre-existing condition.  Sure enough, the first company rejected us. Devastated doesn’t describe how we both felt. I knew I could carry COBRA on both of us for 18 months; however,  premiums of $1300 a month are  just not feasable. So we applied with another company. Three weeks later, we were accepted with an exclusion rider. Woohooee! In the midst of an ecstatic snoopy dance, we realized that we had to decide whether to gamble with the rider or pay for COBRA on myself only. Since we realize that I am very unlikely to score a better policy at all, it looks like we are paying for the meds out of pocket and gambling until 2014 when the health care law makes rejections, pre-existing exclusion riders, and premium increases for pre-existing conditions illegal. Thank you Mr. President! I just wish the health care overhaul was implemented in its entirety when it was passed….but again with the thank you!!

So our shiny, new health insurance policy will be effective August 1. I am giving my notice this week, with my last day of work being August 5. I will have a week to get everything ready to go, and James will be home with the dawghouse on the 14th. Then we are outta here!! We still haven’t been able to sell our apartments in this crappy real estate market. So I am going to get a crash course in long-distance property management. At least I will have the freedom to travel back to deal with anything catastrophic. We have contractors in place who can handle repairs with a phone call. And James’ sister will handle the remainder of the management, including showing, cleaning, and rent collecting. I am actually looking forward to the distance from the tenants. We do have a potential buyer for our house, but they have to sell their house first. If they don’t buy our house, we will likely finish renovations this winter to get it ready to list next spring.

Now that we are in the last weeks before our dream finally becomes a reality again, I am trying to get organized. The problem is, most everything that remains to be done cannot be completed until the last minute. So I am pacing the floor, twiddling my thumbs, and occasionally swinging from the ceiling fan in anticipation!

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Jul 10 2011


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Dawgs! I am scooping as fast as I can! Here’s what I do know. Mom says that unless a cat-tastrophe happens, we going on a long roadtrip and are gonna turn into fulltimers with benefits. She’s gonna give a dawg a notice about our roadtrip next week sometime. But I can’t figure out when we are leaving. Mom said Pop is getting crowned at the dentist after he drags the dawghouse back from Texas in August. I guess the crown is his prize for all that dragging. She also said we might go to Texas early and ride back with pop while he drags the dawghouse home to stuff it with the kitty herd and all my toys! Anyway, stay tuned! I’m gonna keep snooping and scooping! I am hoping that we will go to the Texas coast so I can pimp my beaches!!

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Jul 02 2011

I herded a rumor!

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Dawgs….shhhh. I’m gonna share a secret! Mom and Pop have been having these long conversations about health insurance (what’s that?), road trippin’, RV parks, property managers, giving a two week notice to some dawgs I think, wind farms, mail, banks, and lots of other stuff that seems really complicated. I don’t understand it all. But mom and pop are excited. I think they are planning a really really LOOOONG road trip, and soon. I’m gonna keep snooping! I’ll keep you posted!

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Dec 13 2010

Love me some beaches!

Filed under It's a Dawg's Life

Dawgs, we had a busy weekend. There’s almost nothing better than roadtrippin with my head out the window to sniff out new places.  Saturday we drive to this place mom and pop called Rockport, to a dawghouse-fixin-place, to have our refrigerator checked out. The we went over to Goose Island State Park, where we saw a humongous, 1000 year old Live Oak Tree.  Check it out…

After that, I met a cousin! Yep, her name is Sam. She’s only three months old, kinda like a mini-me. And boy was she sassy! She was so mouthy that she wouldn’t stop barking at me long enough so she could be still and let mom take our picture. She scared me a little. I don’t mind small dawgs much, but when they make wierd sudden moves I get freaked out a little. Mom fusses cause I tend to show my teefers if they get in my face too much, you know, like I’m gonna bite ’em. Little does she know it is just an act!  Boy, I really wanted to play with Sam. Sure do wish she would’ve been quieter and chilled out some! Her dad said she is trying to counter-surf all ready!

After a really long day Saturday, I crashed hard in the bed, snuggled up to my Beanie.  

On Sunday, we drove down to Brownsville, TX and then over to South Padre Island, to the BEACH! I absolutely love my beaches!! I got to zoom in the sand. And I found a HUGE steek that I wanted so bad! I tried my best to dig a hole underneath it so I could get a really good grip on it to drag it back to the car with me.  Can you believe mom and pop made me leave without it?  They said it was too big to haul back to the dawghouse. That was the mother of steeks! I could have used that thing to fend off those crazy peli-can-eat-dawgs that we saw flying everywhere!! Anyway, I was a good poser for pop.  On our way home, I had to declare my citizenship at the border patrol station. I was a little worried since I still don’t have a pawsport, but mom said it would be okay since I am a german-american citizen. And she was right. Just like when we were in Arizoners, Mr. Border Patrol dude just looked in the back window at me to be sure I wasn’t harboring any illegal dawgs, and sent us on our merry way after another cousin had a good sniff around our car. Wonder what we will get into next week??

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Dec 09 2010

Stew It

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Dawgs, mom cooks me huge batches of yummy food at home. I love pup-food-cookin-day! I get freshly cooked nummies, plus I get to help do the dishes. I ran outta food a couple of days ago, and so mom has been feeding me what her and pop have been eating, plus other nummies like eggs for breakfast. For dinner last night I had pork roast, taters, and carrots! I prefer bach-bach food, but the roast was pretty yummy!! Sometimes I almost wish she would feed me what her and pop are eating all the time!

 Today she cooked up another batch of pup food.  I’m kinda excited about pup-food cookin in the dawghouse, cause mom makes smaller batches. This is great for two reasons….first, if mom hasn’t had a chance to cook me more nummies, when I run out then I get to eat what her and pop are eating. And that means fresh meals cooked just for mememe too…say, steak n taters, oatmeal, scrambled eggs, bach bach and veggies, SALMON, you get the picture. Delish!

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