Dec 08 2010


Dawg Exorcisms

Filed under It's a Dawg's Life

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Dawgs, mom says I have too much pent-up energy for this little dawghouse. Just this morning I was zooming in circles on the bed like a mad dawg. Mom bit her tongue, laughed at me, and even videoed it, but she says her technical ignorance is preventing her from posting the video so all of my beloved fans can watch me zooooooom. At home I get regular exorcisms by running free and playing frisbee, steeeek, and ball in the yard and in our field, and by taking long walks up and down our creek. Oh, and I also can run back and forth through the house chasing kitties and my cuzzes, as well as dragging spanky-spider and poundy-penguin through the house at a maddening pace. And when pop and I are outside doing man-stuff, I help him by biting at the tires of the lawn-mower and wheelbarrel, and distracting him by getting in his way with my toys.

We’ve been going for walks around the RV park here, but it mom says it doesn’t exorcise my demons like romping on the beach did at Port Aransas. So she decided to try bike riding with me again. When I was younger and full of even more demons, she used to take me with her for bike rides. I would run beside her and do my bestest not to get my toes ran over.

It took me a little while to remember. First, I just wanted to chomp mom’s tires. Here I am, taking aim.

It took me a little while to get the hang of it again. Mom just wouldn’t go fast enough at first, so I kept getting ahead of her. And I didn’t remember left and right either to know what direction mom was turning at the intersections. I only ran into the bicycle once, but that was because pop took off down a different road chasing a cool bird that him and mom saw. I kept looking over my shoulder to see where he was going instead of watching mom, and even as she was hollaring at me over and over to watch her, I drifted too far to the right and bumped into the bike. Then I got scareded and walked in front of mom’s front tire as she was trying to stop. She almost wrecked trying to keep from running me over. I wound up with a skinned foot pad, which really bites because mom says no more bike riding til it heals. And she said I might have to wear my boots again for running on the pavement so I don’t get any more owies.  Anyway, all that exorcise did get rid of most of my demons. I am napping to get all rested up for bed time!

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Dec 05 2010


Sand spurs, peli-cans, and toys oh my

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Dawgs, we have been lazy today. It is f-f-freezing outside compared to yesterdays sunny weather, so mom and pop didn’t want to go outside to play all day. After a lot of begging and pestering,  I finally convinced them to take me for a really long walk to splore our new neighborhood all proper like. I had lots of pee-mail to read out there! By the time we walked to the shuffle board courts, I had a nasty sticker-fooey between my toes and was hobbling along in pain. After mom tried to get it out herself and said a few bad words, she let pop dig the sticker-fooey outta my foot.  Ahhh….much better, until she whipped out those stupid shoes and made me wear them….IN PUBLIC! It was bad enough that I had to wear them around our house back in Tennessee  after my Fedex buddy brought them (I’m gonna bite his ass for that). But talk about humiliation. I sound like a friggin horse when I walk on pavement….clippety cloppedy, clippety cloppedy.  And people stared at me like I was some sort of freak of nature. I was really embarrassed….at first.

 Then something odd happened. First, this woman smiled at me and told me those were nice shoes. (Really?) Mom told her thanks, and that I was wearing them to keep the sticker-fooeys outta my toes. The woman said that was a great  idea and she hadn’t thought of doing that for her dawg. Later, we saw her running with a Scottie, who I wanted to nibble on, just a little, like my kitties. Then, a nice man pulled up in his car and asked if I was wearing the shoes to keep from getting sand spurs. He said he has german shepherds, and wanted to know what kinda shoes they are and where to get em, because he is going to have his wife buy some for their dawgs. (REALLY?) Hmmm…so I am thinking that maybe mom is on to something after all. The strangers who were staring at me weren’t making fun of me. They think I’m cool in my new shoes! Wowee! Whadda ya think?  

So while we were on our walkabout today, guess what we saw?? Yeah, those scary peli-can-eat-dawgs.  I was so wonked out by the sight of them  that the waves were scaring me, and a plastic bag almost made me poo myself just a little. Mom says she doesn’t understand my fascination and fear with those mother of all big, dark, and holey birds. But what’s not to fear? Those things are huge! I think they are throw-backs from the Pleistocene era. The birds back home don’t look like that. I’m no dumb dumb dawg. I’m not gonna go down the goozle of one of those huge beasts.

So after our long walk, I pranced back to the camper feeling all better about myself, since apparently the strangers staring at me weren’t laughing, but instead were of the opinion that I am one cool dawg sporting my new shoes. I was so happy that I had to dig in my toy basket a little. I packed (okay, mom really did it) all my important stuff, like all my cuzzes, spanky-spider, poundy-penguin, my boners, my little jolly ball, and my ropes.  I try and keep them organized…a cuz here, a rope there. You know, convenient no matter where I am in the dawghouse. Unfortunately, mom keeps pitching them back to my toy basket. Guess I will just have to spread them out again!

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Dec 04 2010


Laughin’ on Baffin Bay

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Dawgs, we went road trippin again today. We left Port Aransas, home to the mother of all birds that are big, dark, and holey, those scary peli-can-eat-dawgs. We drove to this new place that mom called BFE land while she laughed with glee as we zipped through the 70 mile per hour speed zone down this narrow, tarred and feathered, two-lane country road out to our new campground, the Sea Wind RV Resort in Riviera, TX. Our new neighborhood is pretty cool. It is right on Baffin Bay, and we have a really cool lake in our back yard too. Check out the view from our back window.   Here is our site.

Mom and pop originally picked out a different site on the lake. When pop started to back our dawghouse into the other site, the neighbor, who mom called the angry-almost-naked dude, came running out all discombobulated that we were trying to get into that site because he was mooching the power from it instead of his own site, and because he was using the water from that site to water his yard. And get this….he had three no dog signs around his site.  WTH? After mom’s brief encounter with him, she said she decided she’d had enough of his internal caldron of anger and called the office to request different neighbors. Boy am I glad. Cause I really wanted to pee on his precious grass!

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Dec 03 2010


Fun in the Sun

Filed under It's a Dawg's Life

Whew, what a day. We played and played on the beach today. Here I am streaking out of the water to go get my steeeeeek.

I chased my steeeeeek until I could barely stand up.  Then I chased it some more! 

Pop and I played in the waves  until I was so pooped out that I almost had to lay down in the sand to rest. After we walked back to the camper, I got a BATH outside with the waterhose. I didn’t know that was going to be part of my fun day in the sun. But at least it was warm water! I managed to make it inside the dawghouse and squeek my cuz a few times before I passed out. 

Mom says a tired dawg is a good dawg. I say whatever! Cause after I took a power nap, I was ready to go go go again! Mom snuck this picture of me chasing my Boobits all over the camper after my snoozy….I think we are moving somewhere else tomorrow. I really don’t want to leave the beach, but I can’t wait to see where we are going next!

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Dec 02 2010


Road trippin’ across Texas

Dawgs, guess what? We are road-trippin again. Mom and Pop brought me back to that big honkin state called Texas, and I even got new shoes for it cause pop says that there are nasty sand spurs that will stick in my toe pads like those stupid cactus needles stuck in my tongue out in Arizona last year. I don’t like my shoes, but dude, those cactus needles really hurt, so I guess I’ll wear my shoes when I hafta. Don’t I look funny?  I’m just glad mom isn’t making me wear one on my tongue! Anyway, we are staying in my dawghouse again, checking out the sights. I forgot how fun it is to stay in truck stops at night.  This was where we spent our first night of vacation, at a Flying J in Alabama.

Here I am passed out in the bed after all that driving.

Check this out. We got to ride in the car on a boat at the same time.  It almost scared the crap outta me until I saw that humongous mother of a bird that mom kept calling a pelican. I don’t get it … peli can do what? Eat dawgs? Anyway, I wanted to chase it but I think maybe it would’ve eaten me. Have you seen those things? Dude, they can stuff big dawgs like mememe right down their gullets.

After the ferry ride to Port Aransas, we went to this really cool RV Park called “On the Beach RV Park” cause, well, it’s right on the beach. Here’s our dawghouse parked there.   Mom said we went to Texas last year and that I loved it. I just know that I really loved my big honkin sand box there.  Mom promised that I would get to play in the sand and water at the same time on this trip. I couldn’t imagine what she was talking about, cause the water I usually play in is our creek, but there’s no sand there. Well, after mom and pop got our dawghouse set up, we went for a walk. And dude, is there ever sand and water here!!!  I figured out that being a poser makes mom happy, so I stopped zooming for joy long enough to show her how handsome I am. Then I took off like a maniac, flicking sand everywhere.  Here I am, playing in the sand and water, just like mom promised. But note to self…don’t drink the water. Mom says it will cause me to squirt out both ends. I don’t know what that means exactly, but I don’t think I wanna find out. Oh, there are lots of weird birds here. I like to sneak up on em  then chase em off . I wasn’t running from the bird in that second picture though. Mom just had the camera at a weird angle, that’s all….I didn’t want you to think I was scared of that big bird, cause I wasn’t, really. Here I am enjoying the sunset …. We’ve seen really cool sunrises , and we went to this place today called Padre Island National Seashore. I’m still kinda miffed cause they wouldn’t let me play on the first beach we went to, but I sniffed out the parking area anyway. . I can’t wait to see what we get into tomorrow!

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Aug 08 2010


The Guilty-Dawg Grin

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Mom says I am a good dawg. I believe her. I mind her most of the time, like when she tells me to stop chewing on the kitties. But Boo is irressistable…I can’t help but chew on him when Mom or Pop is twitching him and tickling him. But I figured it out….when I get in trouble for chasing or chewing on Boo, I just give Mom the guilty-dawg grin.

She’s such a sucker!! This gets me out of trouble almost everytime! 

So take notes class! If you are about to get in trouble, or if you are already in trouble, lay down and roll over on your back. Flop your legs out so that you are showing all of your stuff. Fold your front paws over, then grin really really big, so your teefers are showing…..just like this!    Your humans will forget about the trouble you just caused, guaranteeeeeed!

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Jul 09 2010


Road-trippin’ with Riley!

Filed under It's a Dawg's Life

Dawgs, we have been busy lately! Mom has been saying that we need to update my blog, but haven’t taken the time. Here’s why! We took a long road trip to Tellico Plains. While we were at the campground , we played in my favorite swimming hole in Citico Creek  , I helped Pop look for gold and cool rocks, I played steeeeek in the creek  , napped in the camper  , begged to go out and pway more more more , chewed on Papaw  , and hid between the chairs while mom cooked dinner (she says I have the dropsy cause I am afraid she will drop something on me when she clanks dishes) . I worked hard protecting the camper while we hung out in the campground  !  We drove up the mountain and stopped along the way to sniff out the views  .  We hiked a really long trail down to a creek to the Conasagua River Falls  , and I fretted over Pop when he climbed down the falls to take more pictures  . Mom made us be posers next to another river  above the Bald River Falls (why is it bald??).   After that long week, it started to storm and rain A LOT at home. The thunder scared me so bad that I decided the safest place to be was in Mom’s lap!  . Mom and Pop have been calling me the scaredy-chicken since that night! I was so tired after our camping trip that I kept falling asleep every time I was still for a couple of minutes  !  Once I got rested up from that trip, I had the energy to zoom thru the house again  !  Then mom and pop decided we were going on another camping trip to Papaw’s for a yard sale  . I don’t know why they said they were going to sell his yard and all of our junk in it, but Mom and Pop said I was a good dawg cause I didn’t bark very much at all those people who kept coming and buying all that stuff, even though I was tied to the camper!

Oh! Mom got pretty upset when this creepy dude tried to BUY MEEEEEE! Yeah. You read that right. He kept begging her to buy me, like I was a piece of all that junk lying around. Mom was nice to him at first, cause she wanted him to buy some of the stuff they were trying to get rid of. But then him and his wife were serious and begging her and Pop. I saw him pull out some money and try to get Mom to take it in exchange for me. Get this….she told him her and Pop would not take a million dollars for me. Then mom got MAD! She got really serious with them, and asked if they had kids. When they said they did, she asked them if they would sell her one of their kids since she doesn’t have one. I grinned when I saw them look a little like mom had smacked them or somethin’!! I heard the woman tell mom NO WAY. Mom told her POINT MADE – my child is not for sale either! And they left us alone after that!!! I really wanted to bite the man for being so obnoxious and for ticking mom off like that!

While we were staying at Papaw’s place, I snuck into the front seat of Mom’s car.  I wanted to drive, but she wouldn’t let me….something about not having opposable thumbs and a driver’s license, whatever that means! Oh! And I have been helping Pop in the yard and garden. Check out our sunflower field!  I keep getting in trouble because I like to chomp at the bees. Last year I had to go to the VET cause one stung the roof of my mouth and left a scary red spot that Mom totally freaked out over. I don’t know what the big deal was though. The VET gave me some pills and I got alllll better. Today, I saw a real-life sneaky-snake in our tree in the yard  . I am back to playing with Spanky-spider until our next road-trip  !

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May 05 2010


Score!

Filed under It's a Dawg's Life

Dawgs…we have been busy the last few weeks, and I haven’t been able to hog-dog the ‘puter to tell you ’bout my ventures. But here’s the latest! Last weekend Mom and Pop drove us to a big city called Atlanta in Georgia. Mom said I was born just south of there, but I don’t remember being there. Anyway, we stayed at a NICE hotel that was really friendly to us 4-legged souls. Get this…I was allowed to go in the lobby, through the hallways, and even up the elevator! And the best part?? Mom and Pop let me sleep in the bed with them!!!  I sometimes sneak onto the bed in the camper and get fussed at.  I can’t get into the bed at home cause it is way too high, and I am too scared to jump all the way up there.  But I think I might have to learn to jump that high ’cause this was toooo cool! I did my best to sleep on top of mom alllll night…she kept telling me I am too big! And I think maybe I made her legs sore cause she couldn’t move ’em much thru the night. At least I kept her warm!

I can’t quite figure out the whole elevator thing. I really scared me, cause I felt like I was falling when it moved. I thought that slinking my belly low to the floor would help, but then my feet went in different directions on the slickery floor. And what is up with packing a bunch of people in the vader anyway? Jeeze…at one point there were 7 humans on that thing, plus me! I tried not to sniff anybody’s butt, but they were right in my face! What do they expect?

So now, I can’t wait to get our camper back…(Mom and Pop took it back to the dealer for some repairs). I’m gonna try sneaking into the bed with mom and pop in the middle of the night. Maybe they’ll let me stay???

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Mar 28 2010


Riley’s B.A.R.F.

Filed under It's a Dawg's Life

Dawgs, am I a spoiled pup! See, mom thinks that most of the processed, bagged kibble is not good for pups. She says that some kinds have rendered dead, diseased, dying, and disabled animals in them. I don’t know what some of that means, but I do know that from the look on her face when she talked about that, I don’t think I wanna eat it. And she says she worried about my belly getting all bloaty from eating the kibble anyway. So she cooks me YUMMY food. Plus, alot of times I eat what her and pop are eating. My favorite is steak and eggs! Too bad I don’t get that very often.

Anyway, last week pop went to my aunt’s farm, and brought home a freezer-full of beef.  Dawgs…I am talking HUGE freezer chock-a-block full of yummy stuff. I even spied some bones and trachea in the mix! Mom says that it is good stuff, with no antibiotics or other nasty stuff. And Aunt Maria’s cows are happy cows, just like on the California happy cow commercials (How you doin’?) , with lots and lots of green pastures to hang out in.

Yesterday, pop cut up a roast for mom to cook for supper, and gave me the bone!  Mom calls it my BARF. I’m confused about that, ’cause it doesn’t look like any barf I’ve ever made. She says it stands for biologically appropriate raw food, or bones and raw food. All I know is that it was a raw bone with some yummy raw meat on it. I don’t get raw food often…mostly cooked cause the raw stuff grosses mom out too much. But I sure do love the boners!! Here I am, chowing on barf!

Pop has been calling me cow breath!

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Mar 16 2010


Hoppy birfday to MEEEEEEEEEE!

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Bow wow wow!  Today is my birfday! I am officially TWO years old. Mom says I should be considered an adult pup now, but that since I don’t act my age, and am still grounded from eating the ‘puter cord and box thingy last week, that I am STILL a rebellious teen-pup to her. That’s okay though….I guess I’ll always be young at heart.

Mom and Pop don’t make big deals out of birfdays, so no pawty for me. But I bet that Mom will come home with another toy for me one day soon. I’m hoping for another big stuffed animal to toss around and zoom through the house with!

Check this out…this was me in the car with Aunt Lola on the day Mom brought me home. I was 9 weeks old then. I don’t remember it, but Mom says I was really scared until I got out of the car at home. Dawg, I grew huh?

Homeward Bound

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